Work Dispatch: Someone threw you under the bus at work? Try this next time.
Knuck if you buck is not always the right option
If you’ve been here for awhile, you can probably tell I operate with a certain level of transparency. Thank you for being here and reading! I don’t take being in your inbox for granted. I’m navigating a lot of transitions and working through them in real time is…eventful. Thank you for still being here and going on this journey with me.
I often share wisdom through my own experiences because life tends to be the best teacher. I always say take what you need and leave the rest!
March marked six months at my job and for the most part things are going pretty well!
Me and my boss have a pretty good rapport and we have a work rhythm. I’m slowly getting more responsibilities and getting to know more of my coworkers which is always a good thing!
Compared to my first 9 to 5 experience where I experienced weekly panic attacks, micro aggressions and bullying this has been a complete 180 in a great way.
But there is always something.
Recently I had to handle a situation where I was thrown under the bus by an associate. I was given an assignment to complete and instead the associate communicated they were going to finish it.
When it wasn’t complete the same associate asked if the project was complete, in front of our boss! The answer—of course it wasn’t because they were supposed to finish it!
To save face, I said I’d finish the project first thing in the morning.
At first, naturally I felt completed blindsided. Whenever I have verbal communication with a coworker, I ALWAYS follow-up with an email. Which is rule number one of working in corporate and I didn’t have the paper trail of our chat.
Second, I was pissed. Mainly because the interaction can give the impression that I couldn’t handle a bigger workload and more responsibilities.
Perception is everything and a reputation that can take months to build can slowly erode with little digs.
It’s so easy to complain to my boss and/or the associate about how I felt and how it was a micro aggression. But that doesn’t resolve the issue or prevent it from happening again. There is a time and place to vent and air out my frustrations and going directly to my boss wasn’t the answer.
More importantly I know that the misguided attempt to erode my reputation is a reflection of the associate, not me.
Lastly, there is no need to examine if I was or wasn’t thrown under the bus. I was and I don’t question how I feel about micro aggressions. Eliminating the back and forth of my reality is what allowed me to resolve the issue sooner.
After speaking to a great friend of mine who is a manager at another company, I took a different approach.
Instead of making it a me vs them issue, I made it a team issue.
Instead of laying out my grievances, I asked for clarity from our boss. Clarity on our roles and responsibilities and clarity on timelines to make sure this doesn’t happen again, using the facts of what happened for context.
In the end, my boss acknowledged that next time he and I will review my project responsibilities together to avoid any miscommunication or project delays.
Why this approach works
Eliminates more drama. Skipping over my coworker and speaking directly with my boss with the facts takes serious emotional maturity. Yes, I’m from the school of knuck if you buck BUT the issue wasn’t worth increasing my cortisol levels for.
Solution focused vs problem focused Yes, sometimes people need to be taken to the side, but my boss doesn’t entertain he said/she said commentary with me. Either of us can say who said what but the fact is, he wasn’t there. Focusing on how to do better next time shows restraint and emotional intelligence, making it a workflow issue vs a personal issue.
A sign of leadership I know I’m about to say the quiet part out loud but corporate America is like a game with rules that change often. Focusing on the solution, initiating a conversation with your supervisor immediately gives you the upper hand in your career. This situation is another example that I know how to handle and resolve conflict and maintain relationships with antagonistic people.
*But please know this person has one more time to test me lol
Although I’ve used a work example, I think this approach works in many scenarios especially in platonic or romantic relationships.
Was this helpful? Let me know in the comments!
Part of my job includes styling and shooting shoes. This is my best prop up this week i fear I ate! 🤣🤣🤣
